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In the third article of this series,
the fifteenth samskara, vivaha -
the sacred institution of marriage -
is described in detail.
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Marriage
(15) Vivaha
This is the most important of all the Hindu Samskaras. The Smrutis
laud the gruhastha (householder) ashram as the highest, for it is
the central support of the other three ashrams.
Manu enjoins, "Having spent the first quarter of one's life in
the guru's house, the second quarter in one's own house with the wife,
and the third quarter in the forest, one should take sannyas in the
fourth, casting away every worldly tie." (Manu Smruti IV.1).
By marriage an individual is able to achieve the four purusharths
(endeavors) of life: dharma (righteousness), artha (wealth), kama
(desire) and moksha (salvation). He is also able to pay off ancestral
debt by having children. Procreation for children is also a primary
purpose of marriage.
In addition to being a religious sacrament, Hindu marriage is also
regarded as an important social institution. For developing a stable
and ideal society, marriage has been regarded as an essential element
in all cultures of the world. A society without loyal marital ties
tends to degrade. It is said that promiscuity was one reason for the
downfall of the Romans. By marriage, both an individual and society,
while remaining within the moral norms, can progress together. Simultaneously
it does not cause harm to others nor infringe upon one's independence.
This samskara boosts cultural values and dharma. It upholds and promotes
moral righteousness and self control.
Types of Marriages
In the Hindu scriptures there are eight types mentioned. In the Manu
Smruti (iii.21) they are divided into two groups: (i) the morally
approved (prashasta) and (ii) the disapproved (aprashasta).
(i) Prashasta
(a) Braahm: This is the purest type. It was so called because
it was thought fit for Brahmins. In this the girl is given by the
father, with such ornaments that he can afford, to a man of character
and learning, whom he has invited voluntarily and received respectfully,
without taking anything in exchange (Manu Smruti, iii.17). The Smrutis
consider this type as the most honorable, as it is free from physical
force, lust, imposition of conditions and lure of money. Social decency
and religious considerations are fully taken into account.
(b) Daiva: This is the next type, inferior to the Braahm. In
this, the girl is ornamented and given away by the father to a priest
who officiates at a yagna (sacrifice). It is called Daiva since the
gift is made on the occasion of a Daiva yagna. This method was prevalent
among the first three Hindu classes. This type has faded, for it is
considered improper to offer a girl to a priest.
(c) Aarsh: In this method the father of the bride received
a pair or two of kine - a cow and an ox or two cows and two oxen -
from the bridegroom for the purpose of a yagna which formed a part
of a religious ritual. The pair of kine was not the bride's price.
This method was known as Aarsh because it was prevalent among the
priestly families. Nonetheless, according to the Manu Smruti (iii.53)
accepting a gift, small or large, amounts to a sale.
(d) Prajapatya: This involves the father giving away his daughter
to a suitor with the specific understanding that they both perform
their civic and religious duties together. The name Prajapatya suggests
that the couple enter the bond for discharging their duties to Prajapati
i.e. for procreating and raising children.
From the Western point of view this type of marriage may be regarded
satisfactory because the rights of the husband and wife are equally
well secured. But from the view of the Hindu shastras, it is inferior
to the first three. This is because the daughter is given subject
to mundane conditions. Hence the 'gift' cannot truly be regarded as
free.
As a point of interest, Kautilya in his Arthashastra prohibited divorce
for the four Prashasta marriages.
Now we shall consider the four types of marriage which are not approved
by the scriptures
.
(ii) Aprashasta
(e) Asura: The Manu Smruti (iii.31) defines this as, "Where
the husband having paid money to the relations of the bride and the
bride herself, accepts her out of free will." The main consideration
in this kind of marriage is money and it is, in reality, a purchase.
Manu condemns it, "The learned father of the girl should not
accept even the least amount of price. Accepting the price out of
greed, he becomes the seller of children." (Manu Smruti, iii.51.)
The Aitareya Brahmana (I.16) brands this type as pashuvivaha - animal
marriage. Today this form of marriage is still prevalent in certain
sections of Hindu society where a dowry is demanded by the bridegroom's
father from the bride's father. Public opinion has begun to frown
upon dowry. Religious and social leaders have been rallying against
it. Pramukh Swami Maharaj has always condemned it. During the International
Youth Festival at Vallabh Vidyanagar in 1990, he inspired 21,000 young
men and women to take a vow of refusing dowry. To those who cannot
afford the marriage costs, he arranges mass dowry-free marriages during
grand festivals and yagnas.
(f) Gandharva: According to Manu, "Where the bride and
bridegroom meet each other of their own accord and the union is consummated
in passion, that form is called Gandharva." (Manu Smruti, iii.32.)
The name Gandharva is derived from a tribe of that name living in
the Himalayas, in which it was a common occurrence. It was more prevalent
among the Kshatriyas as they represented the freest element in society.
The majority of the lawgivers discouraged it on religious and moral
grounds. It was regarded as inferior to the first five forms because
it was performed without sacred rituals and it originated from passion,
a factor which seemed to be tenuous.
(g) Rakshas: Manu says, "Capture of a girl by force while
she is crying, having killed, scattered and injured her relatives,
is called Rakshas Vivaha." (Manu Smruti, iii.21.) This usually
occurred during war or political upheavals. The Kshatriyas usually
practised this since they participated in war and obtained women as
war booties. The word rakshas means demonic.
(h) Paishach: This is the least approved. Manu (iii.34) defines
this as, "Cohabiting with a girl in loneliness when she is sleepy,
mad or intoxicated." Obviously, this was the most uncivilized
and barbaric method. Paishach means 'of witches'.
The Hindu Marriage
- Beliefs And Sentiments
The Hindu marriage system is described as a religious and social institution.
More important is that it is a union of two spirits rather than just
two individuals. To consider this metaphysically, an individual is
made up of three bodies: physical - composed of matter (sthul), subtle
- composed of mind (sukshma) and causal - composed of the jiva (karan).
The Vedic marriage is a union between all the three - matter with
matter, mind with mind and jiva with jiva. With its sacramental vows,
the couple embark on a journey together to attain the four objectives
(purusharths) of life. During this journey the couple satisfy their
desires - to earn, to beget children, and to serve society. Added
to this, they follow the path of bhakti (devotion) and discover the
divinity within themselves, of Brahman and Parabrahman. This is reflected
in one of the rites during the ceremony. Mantras are chanted to invoke
Narayan in the bridegroom and Lakshmi in the bride. The parents, relatives
and everyone present then bow to them. The union is between god and
goddess, not two material bodies. The underlying injunction to the
couple is, "You are not the body, but atma."
Regarding each other as the atma is the fundamental basis of a Vedic
marriage. It is unique in all the world's cultures - which primarily
observe the Gandharva system based on passion. This understanding
is all the more important in marital discord.
At the root of any marital discord lies intolerance due to body consciousness
and one's ego - the 'I' and 'mine'. If the couple is united by atma
for a common, ultimate goal, moksha, then 'I' and 'you' cease to exist.
This is because 'I' and 'you' are empirically atma. And when 'I' and
'you' are believed to be atma, where is the conflict that would otherwise
arise from selfish motives and desires? Therefore, in a Hindu marriage
when conflicts and differences arise, they can be easily resolved.
The couple consider each other as the atma, for the atma is pure,
genderless, ageless, and inherently divine. Vivaha itself means 'to
lift, to support, to uphold, to sustain'. Admittedly, both spouses
have to make sacrifices and efforts to imbibe this lofty philosophy.
It is not an overnight process, more a lifelong, sacred commitment.
It is this philosophy which has made the Vedic marriage a grand success
for thousands of years. Only the recent rise in materialism, primarily
based on superficial and mundane factors and body consciousness, have
begun to ruin today's Hindu marriages.
The aforementioned sentiments, and a few others, are symbolically
depicted and verbally emphasized by mantras chanted during the actual
marriage ceremony, whose steps we consider next.
The Marriage
Ceremony
(i) Haridralepan
On the day before the marriage, a creamy paste of turmeric and oil
is smeared over the bride's body. This is known as pithi cholvi in
Gujarati and haridralepan in Sanskrit. The symbolic sentiment is that
if the bride is of a dark complexion, this cosmetic treatment will
endow her a lighter hue.
Prior to the marriage ceremony, Ganapati (Ganesh) is worshipped at
the bride's home as an auspicious beginning of the rituals, since
Ganapati is the deity of auspiciousness.
(ii) Var Prekshan (Welcoming the bridegroom)
The bridegroom is welcomed at the entrance of the bride's house or
marriage hall. The bride and the bridegroom place garlands over each
other under the marriage canopy (mandap).
A vow is then recited, "In following my duty, in our financial
matters, in fulfilling my physical thirst, I will always consult you,
take your consent and act upon it." This is known as the Pratijna
Svikar.
(iii) Madhu Parka (Offering honey)
The bride welcomes the bridegroom and gives him honey, yoghurt and
ghee (clarified butter), suggesting that she will always please him
with the sweetness of her behavior. There is also a sour tinge to
the mixture, which symbolises the bitterness that life can sometimes
bring.
(iv) Pani Grahan (Proffering of the bride's
hand)
The parents of the bride proffer her hand to the bridegroom and request
him to accept their daughter as his wife. The bridegroom accepts the
bride as his wife and presents her with clothing and jewellery.
(v) Vaivahik Homa (Invoking the sacred fire)
The sacred fire is invoked and offerings are poured into it. Agni
(fire) represents the mouth of Lord Vishnu and symbolises illumination
of the mind, knowledge and happiness and Lord Vishnu serves as a divine
witness.
(vi) Shilarohan (Stepping on the stone)
The bride places her right foot on a stone. The bridegroom tells her
to be as firm as the stone in his house so that they are able to face
problems with ease.
(vii) Laja Homa (Offering parched rice into
sacred fire)
Four offerings are made to the sacred fire. The brother of the bride
places parched rice into the bride's hands, half of which is meant
to fall into the bridegroom's hands. Mantras are chanted. The bride
prays to Yama, the God of Death, that he grants long life, health,
happiness and prosperity to the bridegroom.
(viii) Saptapadi (The seven steps)
The bride and the bridegroom take seven steps around the sacred fire.
At each step they invoke the blessings of God. As the couple walk
the seven steps they pledge the following seven vows:
1. Let us take this first step towards food and the necessities of
life.
2. Let us take this second step towards strength and vigor.
3. Let us take this third step towards wealth and prosperity.
4. Let us take this fourth step towards obtaining happiness around
the household.
5. Let us take this fifth step for progeny.
6. Let us take this sixth step to act according to the six seasons
and time.
7. Let us take this seventh step to believe in the same religion and
lifelong friendship.
(ix) Agni Parikrama (Circumambulation of
sacred fire)
The bride and the bridegroom move around the sacred fire four times.
On the first three rounds the bride leads the bridegroom and on the
fourth the bridegroom leads the bride. Before each round an offering
is made. This part of the ceremony is known as the mangal phera in
Gujarati.
(x) Saubhagya Chinha (Blessing the bride)
The bridegroom blesses the bride by putting kumkum (vermillion powder)
or sindur at the parting of her hair or on her forehead and by giving
her a mangalsutra (sacred necklace).
(xi) Surya Darshan (Looking at the sun)
The bridegroom accepts the bride as his wife in the presence of the
sun deity. If the marriage is performed at night, he tells her to
look at the Dhruva star (star of steadfastness) and at the star of
Arundhati (star of devotion). The bridegroom tells her to be firm
in her love and duty, and to be devoted to him like Arundhati was
to Sage Vashishtha. The bride tells the bridegroom that she will follow
their example and remain devoted.
(xii) Hruday Sparsh (Touching of hearts)
The bridegroom and bride touch each other's hearts. The bride tells
the bridegroom, "I touch thy heart unto mine. God has given thee
as my husband. May thy heart be mine now. When I talk to thee, please
listen to me with perfect attention." The bridegroom repeats
the vow to the bride.
(xiii) Annaprashan (Feeding the bridegroom)
The bride feeds the bridegroom and tells him, "By feeding you
this sweet food (traditionally kansar - made of wheat flour, sugar
and ghee) I shall bind thy heart with the thread of truth and sincerity
and love. My heart will be thine and thy heart will be mine forever."
(xiv) Purnahuti (Completion of ceremony)
After the final offering is made to the sacred fire, the priest blesses
the bride and bridegroom. Flower petals and rice are distributed to
the guests, who shower the bride and the bridegroom. With their blessings
the marriage ceremony is completed.
The bride and the bridegroom are no longer separate entities but an
integrated personality who will share their lives in every way.
(Concluding part in next issue)
Sadhu
Mukundcharandas
)
